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anytime you guys are ready. I don't know how you want to start or open. But before any of that, I want to thank you guys both for being here and for trusting us with your story, as crazy as it is back backstage sometimes. Um, but thank you for being here and being vulnerable. And I'm excited. Yeah. Oh, are we? Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Okay. Hello. Uh, I have a guest with me today and I'm going to read her bio just because I like how it's worded. And so, we're going to start with that. This is Vina, but her name is I'm just going to read it. So, this is I'm nervous at this. Okay. Alabina, the daughter of Alapati and Malvina, a proud mother to Exodus, a devoted human to her loyal companion, Legend. A certified herbalist, animal lover, small business owner. created handcraft small batch botanical products inspired by the wisdom of traditional Samoan healing practices. Every product is thoughtfully made with care, intention, and deep respect for her ancestors and cultural heritage. Her background is in social work, community engagement, early childhood education, where she is passionate about supporting individuals, families, and communities. These experiences continue to shape her holistic approach to wellness and healing. When she's not creating botanical remedies, you'll find her spending time in nature, caring for animals, embracing opportunities, learning and growing. Her work is rooted in the belief that healing happens when we honor the connection to the land, our ancestors, and one another. So, welcome. Thank you. Thank you. That was quite the intro. Thank you, sis. It's a good one. I just wanted to read that so I didn't mess it up, but I probably still messed it up. And that's okay. Yeah. I know. Where else? And I love that you, you know, speak to my higher self, but you also know my human self. Yes. My very human self. Yes. wanted to give acknowledgement to we have Koko Saboa here. Um acknowledging our ancestral roots of Samoa. Um but also Koko Samoa comes from Central America. Yeah. Over there somewhere. Our ancestors were visiting around the world and they were visiting us. So it's a very old drink practice. I really wanted us to start talking about um just the things that we're both into which I do feel like our ancestors have guided us together in this world. Um, and I feel it often just because you always call me exactly when I need you to call me with exactly what I need you to call me with. So, um, that happens a lot. Um, and so I would like to there's a few things I would like us to talk about. Um, definitely, um, I think experiences being in Samoa as a young child or teenager. I don't know. When were you in South? I've in there through different times parts of my life. Yeah. I'd say even just like the botanical aspects of my life started from there when the traditional healing aspects of my life. It wasn't something that I sought out. I was just a really sick kid. And so I didn't get to play outside with all the other kids or all my cousins. I was had to just be inside with the older folks. And so I knew what they knew if they were going out to look for plants or they would send me to go find the plants that were supposed to help me. That's just something that I had to do cuz I have a similar I mean I was there when I was little. Our family moved out there. Let's see. I was really young until I was 11 and then we came back here to Utah. Um but I some of like my fondest memories in fact probably one of my favorite memories is when I was little in Alipa that's so um I don't know I feel like we share a lot of that same love you know where it's rooted from because we're so Americanized but I I talk about it a lot. Um I caught a ride over here. Like I didn't have to be born here, you know? I was born here. Um and my dad found a Balongi wife and that's where I came from. So I just think it's a thing. I mean, when I was little, my grandma was there for the most of my first part of my life. She passed away when I was eight, and I was actually there um in the bed with her when she had her stroke. So, I it was it was a big thing for me um to be out there during that time. But I do think it's definitely shaped who I am today and what I believe in and why I am the way I for sure. So I do think um I don't know finding each other has been like a very important part of my healing. Like I think we were just talking about it earlier towards the end of my usage is when we started to we met, right? It was when I moved into that apartment. Yeah. In Salt Lake. Yep. Rose Park. Yes. Right there. Shout out to the park. Um and so I do think that um that wasn't a coincidence honestly just because of everything you when I met you I was towards the end of I was at the end of my usage so toying with it a little still where you witnessed that you know and you weren't you were holding space for me and you were not judging me so I really appreciate that about you. I can't judge. I am in no way, shape, or form a person who could judge. Well, tell me about that. Well, I think I even like how from that time that I've met you till now, when I first met you, you really struggled with putting roots down. I think that was something that you were, you know, you just had like an aversion to that. You didn't want to sign the lease. Yeah. And yet in that time that we've known each other, you've had more stability housing wise and I I've moved like six times since then and you've been in the same place. Um, which is, you know, that's growth. That was something that you didn't think you could do and you were doing it the entire time. It's so true cuz I never stay at the same place. Everybody who knows me knew that I would move that. I know. Yeah. And that is the longest I probably stayed anywhere even throughout my childhood. Crazy. Yeah, definitely. And it was right around that time that I was um my family unit was fracturing, right? I was coming out of a relationship, a long-term relationship, and it was just a really hard time. And I think we were both looking for support and I I just like that we were both okay with the type of support we were looking for. Yeah. You know, you just let me be me. Yeah. Um, however crazy that was, however vulnerable I felt, having somebody see, you know, those aspects of me or what we think is problematic about ourselves, which isn't. It's just us being human. Yeah. That's true, dude. We was at a strip club. We were in a strip like we were at a strip club. Like just what are we doing here? Like it's just what we had to do to cope at that moment. It's true. Well, I didn't know what the strip clubs were like in Utah. So, thank you for that. Now, so triggering it. I was like, I hate that poster. I hate that poster so much. Well, I think it's also um a little bit of our experiences like with street stuff. Yeah. That we've been involved in before. I mean, I could say past life, but it's not that far along. It's not that far away. I was going to say, girl, it's currently in my life right now. So, it's Yes, we will definitely get into that. Well, I think it's helpful to have that. Um, I don't know. You were saying it earlier about because it is. Do you know how hard it is to find other Polynesians that do all of the witchy stuff, right? Right. And then I don't know. So there's so many what I love about Utah now um is that like I do feel a lot of Polynesians coming out here and I do feel like that's for a reason. I feel like everyone's being gathered out here cuz something big is coming. That's my personal feeling and I feel that but we've been out here already. So I I watched the change of like hardly any Polynesians. In fact, I feel like we were one of the first. It felt like we were there weren't very many Polynesians when we first came out here back in the 80s and now there's so many. So I think it's a good thing only because of course we prefer to be on the island but it's been it's difficult right now. the economy, all of the belief systems that our grandparents believed about us coming out here. I don't know. That's that's what I feel about my grandma. She was she really wanted her kids to come out here, be educated, make money, and they did that. Yeah. Um and all I want to do is go back there. And I feel like you feel the same way. Yeah, it's hard. I think it's, you know, difficult being landlocked. But I also appreciate how cuz my family is from California. I was born in California, raised there and it our family is so far apart uh when we're out there like we have to drive pretty far to get to each other. Whereas here it feels like a village. It's everyone's pretty accessible. And so I feel like my son was able to have um that village feeling without I I don't know if we would be able to have the same thing in California without having to really work hard to have it. Sure. Whereas here I feel like he was able to, you know, just be raised within like our place in Rose Park. His aunt, several aunts and cousins live just down the street on both sides. My sister literally lived right next door to us. So the kids would just, you know, just like go back and between the two houses very much like we would do in Samoa. Yeah. Right. Like you would just get, you know, or something like that, you know, or if you make food, take some to, you know, the neighbor, the old man, old lady. And so he grew up kind of with similar like similar uh Oh, for sure. Yeah. So yeah, Utah's really good for that. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. Um, I don't know. You touched on I think too because I I feel like as as village-minded people, we search for that. Anyways, not only with our own families, but in this throughout this healing journey, what I've discovered is um our families aren't on the same page as far as like trying to do the healing thing. Yeah. And so if we're doing it first Yeah. and they have to catch up because really what happens is we change or we do something that is going to change us and that we don't do it the same anymore and then they still want to do it the old way. It's not going to work because now we do we've changed. We had to scoop in closer to be seen. And it is Leo season. Okay. So, the mic. Okay. So, anyway, we're going to try to stay inside the frame. That's great. If we can, we're being directed to do so and we will listen. Yeah. And if I got cocoa bread going on, you know what I mean? Check in real fast. I know things about you. You're right. And I'm okay with it. Okay. We're talking about um Oh, the healing thing. Yeah. Just like familial Yeah. Ancestral trying to be able to marry those things together because I feel like um for our friendship at least, your friendship has been so detrimental to me to have that understanding where you understand my family dynamic where and I need it. I need that person and that's you because it's so helpful to have that also that the way that you can hold space for me is like so needed and I and I know that um I can provide that as well for you. So yeah, you do. Thank you for saying that cuz I sometimes feel like I get overbearing or I get too opinionated about stuff within the family structures between both of ours like and so thank you for thank you for being okay with that first daughter things right I know it's true the oldest daughter also just our family looks crazy to other And so I need That's my brand of crazy though. That's my brand of crazy. I love us. Yes. Same. Yeah. Every lifetime for sure. Um I think it for me it's addiction. Addiction is really just really tough in my family. Okay. And it looks different for a lot of different families. And the addictions are different. They're not all the same. Right. Right. Some are addicted to attention, food, wine. Yeah, it looks different. Well, those are the ones that are socially acceptable. So, it's baby goes on longer, right? It's harder to stop, right? Like I have I have a family member who is okay to never cut. Sure. And never shop on Sunday. But it's all right to have extramarital affairs. Ah, and so it's the way that you you know what I mean? Like it's the way that you normalize certain things, right? In my family, I'm okay to cuss kids out. Yeah. That's not okay for everybody. I know. And I'm I work with children, but that's how you know you love children when you could be like, you know what, actually, you're being a right now. Like you're you just got to time out. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. When you're on the front lines, right, it's a lot different. But um you know just even like even fighting like the way that we solve issues like I think I have I've yeah I've fought with every one of my siblings at some point maybe not physically but like sure you know or Yeah. And that's not normal. I didn't know that that wasn't normal in family. I think there's a lot of things that we do that I don't know are not normal, right? Just because we've always done it that way and then it's not until someone says, "Oh, interesting. Interesting." I'll be like, "What? That's not normal? People don't usually do that." Well, I think that was the first that's when I learned about I didn't learn about anxiety until like what it actually was. Yeah. I've heard the term I've been a special education teacher. I hear people say I have anxiety. I didn't know what that was until this whole thing started for me where I was like, "Oh, when I first took Lexapro and they were like, I didn't have anxiety in my body." And then I was like, "This is what people feel like. This is how people that's just what normal is like. That's crazy." So, I just think it's the same kind of thing where Well, but gang I'm sad. I feel like it all has its place. Yeah. I don't know. I just It's But it's trying to It's trying to be in both worlds, right? You're trying to be in both worlds, right? You're trying to really have like the but also having boundaries and also being able to speak like your truth. And maybe maybe you say it different, you know, maybe we don't. It's like you said, there's no privacy in the village. Yeah. There's no walls. Our houses don't have walls. I mean, that's so true. Yeah. I mean and even I don't know when my my dad created this I I showed you my dad made this report um showing of my grandma's life and um things that happened you know her life basically and how she lost husband because she was being an obedient daughter. You know they left cuz they were like trying to say no. She's like we don't do that and then they left. So then I don't know, it's a thing because we're village- minded like it's how we handle our issues, whatever they are. I think the strange thing is when we come here and and it's very individualistic, right? Like you have to hold your feelings to yourself. You have to deal with it alone. Yeah. Because they still don't get it. Yeah. like boundaries, right? What is that? Right. Right. There's no like anxiety. Like there's none of that. That doesn't exist. Exactly. So, I don't know. But I don't know to to be fair, there's just things that work in Samuel. Yeah. It just works in Samuel. It doesn't always calculate or like translate here, but it works. Yeah. Like the community, the communal, maybe we don't sit in a room and talk about our feelings, but we go outside and we exercise or we swim or we, you know, f like something like that or maybe we punch it out. I don't know. But it's a different way. But it works. Yeah. But it works. Yeah, it's true. I wanted to ask you if you want and let you lead this part because um talking about your son. I am okay to talk about my son. I love him. He is the best part of me. He is probably my best work on earth in his life in this life. Yeah. And so I'm okay to talk about every part of him. Okay. I don't know. I don't think I understood like unconditional love before him. Yeah. Everything had conditions. Everything was, you know, things could be transactional. Yeah. For me, but it's not like that for him. It's not like that with him. Yeah. With me. To him. And um it also makes me understand my mom more too. Yeah. For sure. Like I don't think I can recognize some of the things that my mom does add love. Yeah. But then when I have had to do it for my son, then I'm like, "Oh, okay." Yeah, I get that. Yeah. But he's probably one of my best teachers. Yeah. I've had to be so completely vulnerable about that situation. Um, backstory, I have a 22-year-old and he's amazing. His name is Exodus and I am proud of him and everything that he's done with his life. I love him. um he got in some trouble and you know just made some decisions that took him on a different life path. But it is his life path and it's my job to understand and just be able to support him on that life path without making it hard. Yeah. For either one of us. Yeah. But it's uh it's it's torn me apart. It has brought me down to like my knees. Yeah. I've had to go before so much judgment. I've had people judge my parenting um just the way that I move in the world, who I am, I am I think it made me kind of pretty introverted. I was like I wasn't ashamed. It there was just like in the family, right? Whenever you do something, right, in the way that our families Yeah. our s family will you do something it doesn't just affect you as an individual, right? The entire family. Yeah. right? The bloodline feels it. They the shame, the guilt, they they hold it. They wear it and it's hard. And you know, I've had people say, "Oh, well, you know, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree or just, you know, just Well, they want to blame someone. Right. Yeah. Right. But at the end of the day, I just want him to be like, I am not who I am without having fallen so many times, right? I couldn't be the friend that I could be to you if I hadn't fallen so many times. Yeah. I would not be able to hold space for you if I hadn't. And it's going to be the same for him. And as hard as that is to watch, Yeah. I have to Yeah. I have to let him work his way through that. And it's hard cuz as parents, we want to shelter our kids, protect them, or for any of our loved ones, we want to protect them from hard things. But the lessons don't come from easy things. You don't learn well from an an easy life, a comfortable life, right? But that's so hard to watch as a parent. Yeah, sure. Well, and I think too for people who don't know, your son is want to say where. What's that? Do you want to say where? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my son is incarcerated. Um he is serving a federal sentence and um that's that doesn't define him. That's not every aspect of who he is. He um is amazing outside of that. Y he he's very amazing. Teresa has known him. A lot of people who've known him. Um I raised him. We raised him. The village raised him. Yeah. The best he can. He found himself under circumstances that were difficult. Yeah. And I think that's even hard for me as someone who works with children. and then my child is somewhere that you don't want your child to be if you work with children. Right. Right. That can be really that could just be really hard. Yeah. And uh Yeah. I Yeah. No. And I think too um as hard as we try to keep our kids out of the system, um it's not always possible, right? And I'm not I don't want to put the blame on anything else. He Your son is so amazing on how he takes accountability for himself and and shows up in the world. He's always this he is a he's a protector 100%. And I've always seen that and he's definitely a warrior. I love that about him. I wish he didn't have to train so hard, you know? I wish he didn't have to take as many hits. Right. Well, there's so many things that I wish we could take away. Yeah. But I don't know. I feel like you have a really great support system. I mean, be lucky for sure, but also more than luck. It's your ability to keep the ones around that you are going to keep around and then get rid of the rest. Let them fall away. I don't know. You just have a really good ability to do that. Really? I think so. Thank you. Cuz I feel like I just let things hold on too long sometimes. No. Well, I do. If I feel like you're cooped up in your house too long, I'll come and knock on your window. You'll drag me out. Yeah. That's my big sister energy. You're like, "All right, you've been in there long enough. Let's go outside somewhere." In my head, you know, just It's so fun in there. And vice versa, cuz I I feel like I need you to pull me out sometimes, too. I got you. Yeah. It usually looks like, "Hey, oh my god, my guy." It usually looks like Yeah, exactly. Let's go play. Is this a question? Yeah, on Tik Tok. Oh, cool. Okay, so someone is asking a question on Tik Tok. Okay. Uh, growing up in Utah, my experience with someone culture was through the Mormon church. Do you feel that it's generally an accurate representation? Dang, she just brought that out. Okay. Hell yes. Do you have a relationship with that church? Huh? Okay. Thank you for asking this question, Tik Tok person. I'd love that. Thank you for asking questions. I I do love that. I'll let you answer first and then I'll add I'll add on to that. Yes, I have a relationship. It's like my ex. I have let go of my uh affiliation, but I was raised uh in the in the church, the Mormon church uh partly. I have a Psalm one dad and a Tongan dad. So, my Psalm one dad was very very LDS. And so, it was he you don't have a choice to you're in the church because he's in the church. So that's how that goes and then um being here. So that was a part of um something that I let go of when I was letting go of things in my life. So yes um I do have a relationship with that and it is definitely something that comes up. Yeah. I I still very much have a relationship with God and we conversate and I am very supportive of my family who are still members. I'll go to you know um like mission farewells or homecomings um baptisms. I'm still very supportive of my family who are in the church, but I am not actively. And I'll have missionaries come visit me. They'll sit with me. We'll, you know, we'll talk and I will tell them the same thing. Like I just am trying to be a good person. I'm just trying not to be an That's for sure. Really all I I'm trying to be Yeah. And I don't need to go anywhere to do that, per se. I find it better to do at home. Um, yeah, I think at one time I thought I could probably still be a member if I didn't live in Utah because I was an active member uh when I lived out of state. Um, but I I don't know. I kind of struggle with the Utah brand of Mormonism. It just very It's definitely different. It's very different. Mormons from Utah are different. It's a little not warm. Um, I don't feel as welcomed. I mean, I get it. It's a cold state, but like it just isn't very It's definitely different. I don't feel the same um fellowship that I felt, you know, when I was a member in Yeah. So, their places. Yeah. But I Yeah. But I still respect everyone's you know, ability and right to worship the way that they feel and do. I do feel like I'm still I've always been spiritual. Um, and I had to realize that after leaving the church and I actually hid my spirituality. I wasn't like I I like had to come out with I'm I'm spiritual. I do spirit stuff and um I believe in it like whatever. And I believe that we can connect with our ancestors. Like I I do like our ancient knowledge more. I like to go back to that more. I feel more comfortable with that. And so yeah, it's true. Thank you for the question. Yeah, don't question. Keep coming. Um I don't know. So, there's a third part to that. I don't know. Oh, oh, this one. Uhuh. They were asking if you felt like essentially that like Mormons are more helpful or harmful to some culture because like they're alluding to like colonization. Oh, that's a good Okay, I see what you're doing there. And I feel like I can't really speak for all, you know, cuz I love Well, sure. It's This is just your guys' Exactly. Exactly. I have to say this. Let me Where's my disclaimer? This is my personal opinion and my personal experience. Um, when I was little, my grandma only spoke su, but she wanted me to speak English to her. She never converted to the Mormon church. She was like Methodist or something. So missionaries came to Samuel like and you know they started to our people I feel like just started to like join churches you know Mormon was one of them because there was a Mormon church out there's Mormon high school there's Mormon like it's one good way to get members is to start them when they're younger then you can they don't want to leave the younger they are seems like Um, so it's a nice little tactic that they have. Sorry, I don't want to. It's that whole idea that I mean, we were just talking about it before the cameras turned on. I feel like my grandma started to notice that things were changing in Samoa because I'm young enough, I mean, I'm old enough to remember a Samoa where um, the older women didn't wear shirts. It was hot and that was like not shameful. That was normal and it gave me an idea of like what a woman's body is. It's not shameful and it's not something that we should like hide. I don't know that the there's so many different ideas of what covering your body looks like and what is I don't know so it just started changing the island when all of the religions started to come and then we started to become so I just think my grandma had this idea wanting us to speak English and seem educated and get educated And all of her kids did that. All of her kids came to the US. Some of them went to New Zealand and they became educated because that's what she wanted for them. Um, she never changed her religion because I feel like she's like, I already did it. I'm not going to keep doing it just because my kids have a different religion. So, she just stayed Methodist until she passed away. But I do think that um Mormonism affects our culture only because of how we are. And this is why I say my experience has been my Saban Mormon dad used culture in with his religion because how do they don't know how to we don't know how to separate that very easily. It's how we are and then now we're Mormon and so it's going to be a part of us. The Mormon is going to be a part of our culture. So, it changes what the culture is a little bit because I didn't realize until I left and I ran away from home at 21 to go be with my now ex-husband that that one family was different than my family because they weren't Mormon. And I was like, "Oh that they're not all like that. all the psalm ones aren't like that because they're not all religious. So that was my first I like view of like how religion has affected our our family culture in our family. So it does bring up a good point like I do think it affects only because how do we separate ourselves from our culture? It's not very easy and when we become Mormon, it now becomes a part of us and our culture is already a part of us. So then it's a whole thing and I think I see it in other religions as well, not just Mormon. So that's my view. I think I'm glad that we as a people are so rooted. Yeah. That we're still right. Like if if we were to just go strictly on Mormon um doctrine, we would not drink Coco Samoa, right? Because it's caffeinated. But we we still drink it because we're not going to let that right. We didn't let that change us. Yeah. Not boundary. Um right. Like what do you mean? We still had tattoos. We're still heavily tattooed even though that was not okay, you know, induction. And so I think it's a lot of like just our people understanding like okay yeah like okay we're going to we're going to let you do that a little bit but not like not too much. Um even aba right even gaba I think the church had like a stamp on it that was very different. Yeah. But our people were like this is what we do. This is who we are. Yeah. Right. Yeah. We're not going to take away your funeral potatoes from you. No. Don't. Or the green jello. Yeah. Don't take away our It's a salad. It's not jello- I got yelled at. So, let us have, you know, let us let us be us. Yeah. But, you know, we'll worship how we worship. Yeah. I think for sure. So, well, I think that this is good. This is I want to start to wrap this up. I want to thank you so much for being willing to come on here and be vulnerable with me and share a part of yourself that you won't share with other people. I know I can't keep the out of myself. I really do. She knows. I do. That's okay. Thank you for this. Um I love you and um hopefully we can do this again. Thank you.