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welcome to the all podcast we're the Academy of logic and light I'm Megan I'm cat I'm Julie we are an ethical Community Education platform that provides a safe space for people to practice their spirituality without indoctrination hey everybody I was going to say welcome to astrology after dark but this is the all podcasty is being really weird I'm just gonna have to say it again like it feels aggressively like attack today water was spilled on my keyboard yeah no thank you but that's what was like glitching me from starting everything else and then I got a massage from Danny she tripped over the pedal which like she works there all the time tripping over the pedal is like not something you do and then the massage gun literally flew back hit me part in the head and almost hit her I was like okay I need to go home whatever's going on is not for me yeah anyway welcome to the all podcast this is it guys welcome we made it so topic today boundaries boundaries I love boundaries when you were you kind of had your description and I was like what's kind of like a term that's a little woo woo that would cover that and I was like boundaries I love bound yeah and you can do that on the 3D world and the 5D world and you should boundaries are sexy how do you guys make your boundaries like for yourself is there a specific one that like you feel like was easy to make or something that you struggled with that you feel like is important to kind of share your relationship with that cat you want to start um No Boundaries are such an interesting thing because I think for myself which may not be uncommon for a lot of people it took me a long time to understand what boundaries are in general because I had this like misconception that a a boundary is me telling someone you can't do that the burden of responsibility is on the outside thing when in reality a boundary is yourself you can't control anything else that's going on but yourself in like past relationships or like even with parents or friends it was like I don't want you to do that instead of a real boundary is like if you continue to do that I will remove myself um so it took me a long time to really understand that and I think that's the tricky thing about boundaries because you have to be so brave and so strong when you set a clear boundary because oftentimes when you set the boundary you're setting yourself up in a way to like break your own own heart because if somebody crosses that boundary you have to be brave and strong enough to do what you said you were going to do like if you said I'm not going to be around it you have to not be around it and that's really hard in general especially with people that we love or things that we love because we always want to give people the benefit of the doubt or a second chance or a third chance and then it becomes that's what becomes a toxic cycle or a toxic relationship is when you said boundary and then you don't uphold it and you kind of betray yourself in that way which I really really learned the hard way was setting boundaries for myself that when you set a boundary and you don't uphold it kind of in a way your brain doesn't really understand the difference between a betrayal that someone else has done versus yourself and I found myself for a long time not being able to trust myself because I had betrayed myself so many times by saying oh this is a boundary well I'm going to just let us slide this time I'm going to forgive them I'm going to look past it I'm going to whatever it is which can be really hard and then to come back from that not only learning how to trust other people but learning how to trust yourself so so difficult like having clear strong boundaries can be a really really difficult thing and I think we touched on this a little bit in the last episode but I think that's kind of especially true for empathic people because we can see on the other side of why they're behaving that way and we have sympathy for that like we're like oh I feel bad for this person I feel what they're feeling I understand what they're going through I want to be there for them I want to help them even though they've crossed a boundary that we made very clear for me especially in the beginning setting boundaries was baby steps because I had to learn how to trust myself and regain my own trust by making boundaries and then proving to myself that I could uphold them so it wasn't like a clear hard boundary of like if you continue to do this I'm going to cut you out of my life they were little boundaries like I'm not going to go out on weekdays or I'm not going to continue to do small things for people that they can do for themselves like I'm not going to clear the dishes for the kids they are old enough they can do it for themselves that's a boundary I have like you have if you're capable of taking care of yourself you are going to take care of yourself and then just building on that I think similarly when we're talking about like energetics or spirit I think that it's generally easier to start small and then make bigger and bigger boundaries around that in your space and I think it's a little bit hard because when you're saying like I won't allow this thing to happen or I'm going to remove myself or I'm not going to be a part of it or whatever it is that you define it can get a little bit sticky I guess because you can't always control the energy that's like coming at you or influencing you but you know there's definitely been times where I think kind of can discern maybe where that energy or that like psychic attack or whatever you want to call it is coming from and then setting really strong strong boundaries around whatever that is I forgot the original question these are all great answers um I was just asking kind of like what your relationship with boundaries is overall yeah so that was I love it well and I like that you brought up kind of the way that it can be wishy-washy with like spiritual stuff and one of my favorite things I've heard was I took a mediumship class and they said to create your ethics and then use that to create create the boundaries that you have with yourself as well as like the energy that decides to like join you or participate I really loved that I loved the thought of like what would I hold myself accountable for and what do I like align with my own moral code and then using that as a way to set my boundaries I thought was such a good way to look at it because from that direction like my morality I feel like I have a pretty clear set moral code for myself or like a set of boundaries or ethics that I feel like how I want to interact with the world for me hearing it that way was such a cool way to think about the way I want to create my spiritual boundaries is like oh you know do I want to have Spirit messages coming in 24/7 no like do I want to be picking up on energies of people who are completely like disinterested in whatever I'm talking about no like I I'm going to set those ethics and those boundaries up for myself from the beginning is pretty easy I just think that boundaries are an Ever evolving thing because we change and we grow and we have to be constantly reassessing where our boundaries are so a little bit of like my relationship with boundaries is I feel like I have big boundaries especially in like when I think of my spiritual gifts so when I was younger I had like terrifying experiences that for me now I'm like oh I never wanted that to happen again and so I put up these boundaries that were like if something comes up I'm just going to ignore it like it's I'm it doesn't exist because my boundaries are so firm and so as I've started to like get into the spiritual Community I've really been learning that I can let those boundaries down um I also think that a a big thing with boundaries is I think of limiting beliefs there's so many boundaries that I had up because of limiting beliefs that I had had um from my upbringing and from my relationship like growing up in a church that was pretty like you fit in our puzzle piece and you can't be anything else and so I had created these boundaries off of these beliefs and my old moral code or what other people were telling me should be my moral code and because of that um I've really had to relearn not just to keep a strong boundary like I feel like I've kind of had that for a long time but I'm learning that that boundary can move that I can open myself up and I can create like a boundary that allows space for these things that I didn't believe in or I didn't want to think about for so long and so I'm kind of getting to the point where I'm like oh like where is my safe space to explore that and so that's been a really interesting thing that I feel like I've been my word of the year was boundaries and I was like how weird I feel like I'm very clear with my boundaries and then I was like oh it's because I need to expand my boundaries and start you know learning and opening myself up to new things but I need to find the way that I'm I feel safe and the way that feels good to me to do it and so that's what I've kind of spent like this whole year doing but I mean it's definitely been happening well before now it's just kind of this year I realized that that was you know what I needed to focus on I like that yeah boundaries has like been such a like big thing that's been coming up a lot but one of my friends was like if if he doesn't know what his own boundaries are then how can I be breaking them and I was like I mean you got a point though like you know how can you say like you're not practicing like safe boundaries and stuff but if if you legit if you don't know what your own boundaries are how can other people feel safe communing with you you know and I don't know that just made me think but it's also like that it's a moving and breathing contract that you can change at any point as long as you're in there with your highest self you're not feeling guilted or manipulated for changing something you're only changing it because you're like okay I feel strong as [ __ ] today I could I could do this you know and you move that boundary just a little bit further but you can always move it back you know it's moving and breathing yeah and that's okay it's fun to play with too my my hard boundary in the psychic world is I do not consent to touch I do not want any demons or any weird [ __ ] like do just don't touch me you can bring your message any other way but not while I'm sleeping do not touch it'll always be a hard boundary unless someone's like hey your grandma wants to give you a hug I'll be like I'm good I'm fine but I have the same boundary with bugs which people always laugh at me because if you'll see me out of nature something lands my I was like I do not consent to touch and I swear to you 15 minutes later I'll be seeing all these people saying I do not consent to touch it but it works for the most part there's some bugs that don't have good hearing yeah I love how you started that because it's like yes it's a moving breathing thing but it is boundaries are for you they're for your highest like interest and if it's not something that you feel comfortable doing don't let pure pressure let make you move that boundary and that's why I think I like setting boundaries that like allow space for the thing that I'm nervous about so like if a spirit wants to communicate to me okay but as long as I'm not sleeping and I'll light the specific candle and those are the times you can communicate with me because I'm not going to be mentally prepared for it if I'm like washing the dishes and I see your reflection like no thank you I'm not interested no be less creepy yeah exactly and so it's very much so a it's a moving breathing thing but like I find the room that's like okay you know maybe I need boundaries with my parents and it's like okay I cannot deal with you on a bad day but maybe maybe my boundary is on good days I call my mom you know because it's like okay I'm mentally prepared I can have this conversation and that's my boundary is just you know on a good day I call my mom if she calls me on a bad day like I'm just going to send her a voicemail and I'll send her a message but I just can't talk to her where it's like okay you know I'm having a good day so I'm going to go out of my way to have this conversation so that I can foster that connection as well as you know like I would like to have a relationship with her but I need it to be a little bit on my terms and that's my terms you know is I'll call her on a good day because I can't control what she's going to say to me but if I'm in a good mood like not maybe not a good mood but if I'm like in a good head space and I'm not upset then it's easier to have that conversation and be like all right well I don't want to talk about that right now mom thinks you know versus a day when I'm maybe having anxiety and that kind of stuff I don't want to talk to her because then she's going to bring these things up and I know I won't be able to handle them well I have kind of a similar I was thinking of like boundaries that are hard firm that protect ourselves and mine is like my phone goes into do not disturb from this time to this time and I will only check it if I feel my vibrations high enough to handle anything because I swear only bad news comes in after 10 o' just cannot I'm done it'll still be there tomorrow when I'm fresh but those are course I was getting mad because Kat you were saying something like how you think about boundaries are for other people but I was getting so mad when I was like okay I don't take calls after 10 o'cl and people were still texting me and then I was like why am I getting mad at the people when I have all of this in my control like we can control who even gets through on this and so it was just like weird to even catch myself in those brain patterns of like getting mad at other people and I'm like it's literally me I'm the one that sets the boundaries yeah totally I totally hear you I set a boundary about like don't call me about work stuff after 5 and on weekends like that's not I'm not yeah there's nothing I can do about any of it anyway until the next Working Day and then I would still get like calls or texts and I was like the same thing I would get so mad at those people and I'm like I don't have to answer I can send it straight to voicemail yeah like they'll get the point pleasing tendency that we have yeah yeah it's hard and it's like deeply ingrained and I don't know if it's for men as well as woman but I for sure don't know a single woman that hasn't had to deal with the people pleasing how do you guys feel like boundaries have helped you like grow spiritually or emotionally is there a specific event that you can think of or way that having a boundary has helped you maybe find the right path I do think uh kind of like what you were saying like having the boundary of who's con who's like trying to contact you um and that just clears out so much chaos you know every was like oh I hear all these different people talking to me I was like yeah but you can control that that is you practicing like spiritual boundaries and turnning you can say not tonight like I need rest I do it for astral projection as well before I go to sleep and I'm like hard boundary I do not want to remember anything in the morning my physical brain cannot handle it um and then I'll usually give them like I have like a run through of what my boundaries are before I go to sleep like protection wise and all of that it's helped immensely because it's way less chatter way less like fight ORF flight mode I didn't feel like I was like in constant state of like channeling which is nice yeah less exhausting all right you answer your question so for me I feel like spiritually I totally agree like setting the boundaries clears out the chatter to the point where it's like okay when am I ready for this I feel like there's less persistent messages that will come through like it kind of changes and you know AB and flows that like if there's something persistent coming through it'll wait until I'm ready to get it um it'll be still be there where it's like if there's not something that's like meant for me or persistent and it's just like a fleeting little like irritant that wants to come in those kinds of things if I keep the boundary up they're not going to come through until it's time they don't get the chance and they usually don't end up sticking around and so it helps me kind of clear out you know the chaff of like what's a message that's going to really help me get further and what's a message that's not going to serve me and so it kind of helps me create that space of here's what I need boundaries also as an empath like cat said we talked so much about essentially we're just going to rehash so many of the same things but protection and like keeping my energy safe has been so important to me and it's something that I had to learn that that was really hard and it comes down to like a lot of self willpower how much willpower do I have to keep myself from doing the thing that I'm telling myself I'm not going to do during this time how much willpower do I have to leave that situation how much willpower do I have to like not be peer pressured into this thing sorry there's a spider on my ceiling I've been I've seen three spiders today and I want to be like oh yeah it's cuz the weather's changing but I looked up the meaning and it was like take a leap and I was like dang it don't me that advice not knowing a situation yeah I was like thanks I hate it I'll be fine I don't know what happened you guys both froze and then it kicked me out so I guess I lost my internet for a second were you still asking like boundaries um how they've helped like with spiritual connection that where we okay I just want to make sure yeah I mean I think just to Echo what you said about it can't be always on like there has to be some time when I can just be a human and not feel other people's feelings or hear the noise or whatever it is I think that boundary specifically of setting up open hours office hours for that connection really really helped me develop that connection ction because it made it less um watered down it was very intentional very purposeful is not was but also was um to be in that moment having that communication without also having my attention pulled in so many different ways um that really helped me to develop that connection on a super super deep level I think so that in those moments when I do need to check in really quick for whatever reason it's like instant I don't even have to think about it because I have cultivated that relationship with my higher self my guides whom it might be um in such a purposeful way instead of just also letting it be part of the background noise all the time I would say is the main way that creating that boundary has really helped me grow in that specific Arena I know you said you didn't hear Julie and I but that's pretty much all of our answers for it but I I really love what you said about like when you have to do it purposefully and I've noticed this as I've like set office hours me holding myself to it so much better something will come up and I'll be like well I'll do it when I get home I'll do do again at home and so like having the office hours have really makes me reevaluate those things of like oh yeah I said I would do this I need to go home and do it because I know that's how these messages are going to come through especially if I'm setting the boundary of like don't bug me while I'm out you know and then I you know get like a little like tap on the shoulder essentially and I'm like all right I'll do it I'll do it and then you know if I don't I find myself kind of like really missing out on opportunities that could have happened or maybe places that I should have been things that I should have been paying attention to a little bit better where once I get home or once I get into my like office hours and I've just started trying to make it part of like my daily routines is like okay I'm going to sit down do meditation and then just be like all right anything coming through pull a couple tarot cards and it makes it so much more purposeful it's like I'm making that connection stronger like when I activate it I'm activating it with intention of like really being in it where if it's just constantly going it's so much harder to feel like when I have control over it and to like I'm an active participant like it's so passive when you just like let the chatter be there versus waiting until you're like turning it on and then it's like really growing you know yourself because you're like oh this is what this feels like this is the mindset I want to be in if I'm trying to tap into this specific thing and it really has helped me grow and I yeah so that was a great cat and let's not forget that the more you practice boundaries you learn how to trust yourself like cat was saying and the instant confidence that comes from that alone is honoring yourself and your highest self it comes with the whole new glow up that I think people really forget so boundaries are sexy yeah well and I think so much of how we want to set boundaries for like exterior forces on our lives like oh yeah I I don't want to interact with this so like my boundary is I'm just going to leave when that happens but it's so few times that we put boundaries on ourselves at least I don't think that we necessarily look at them that way at least I have it but when you think of like oh I want to eat healthy as someone who already has like a good relationship with holding boundaries I feel like that mindset shift can really help me because it's like oh yeah I know what a boundary looks like I know what it's like to hold myself to that boundary and now I'm just making it my self-control so I always say self controls a muscle that you have to practice we're going into the holidays boundaries family all words that come together what are some quick ways in the 3-day plane and the psychic plane that you're sitting down at family dinner and you all would get to switch the subject or move it to something that you are more comfortable with or something like that when it comes to communication like I love the confrontation of a good discussion in a healthy like moving forward kind of thing and I'm pretty lucky that like both mine and my husband's family are relatively good at having the uncomfortable discussions while still being respectful I do have a tendency to get angry and so I've set kind of a a boundary for myself that like when I start to feel anger is when I'll remove myself from a conversation I usually like again I don't really set the boundaries for the people around me if they were getting angry like that would be a clear like you're overreacting obviously you don't say that to somebody but it's like when I start feeling like myself getting heated in an argument not even like angry just like maybe I'm being a little too passionate right now I try to like cool it down start removing myself a little bit looking at it from the 10,000 foot view instead of Within Myself and that helps me with my personal like you know where I'm at and that's how I check what space I need to be in and keep myself in the space that I need um but also like I'll get up and I'll just be like all right bathroom break usually at least at my house like there's several different parties like there's people who are on the back patio there's people who are in the front room there's people who are at the table like in the kitchen and so usually if I get to a point that it's just like uncomfortable I am like all right I'm going to go see what literally anyone else is up to bye um but we're pretty lucky I I'm just pretty lucky that there's enough groups that generally I can leave a situation without it being too upsetting to anybody that's good that's nice um I generally because I have a super small family so when we do when it's holidays typically it's just me my two kids my dad and my two brothers um um so I can't just peep to the Next Room there's no one in the other room but typically I go into those circumstances and I'm not sure why I do this with family more so than I do in any other environment but when I wall up like put that defense around myself um I do it as a reflection so that like whatever they're sending at me like immediately bounces back usually when I go into like a public space or I'm hanging out with friends I do it in more of like a transmutation way where I'm not immediately sending it back but for some reason with my family I'm just like it's just like the shiniest miror you've ever seen so bring it I guess yeah I guess because I think a part of that is because I'm the only adult female and so sometimes there is a pretty both my dad and my brother are Sagittariuses so they really like to get into conversations and they both love to argue just for the sake of arguing which I don't mind because I do think that having those healthy arguments does cultivate a greater understanding or helps you understand yourself why you're passionate about a specific position that you might take in whatever the conversation is about um but I do feel like over the course of my life there have been times where it's been they know it gets under my skin and so they like to dig on purpose and so I think that's why I do a little bit more reflective when I'm in that specific um Arena um my dad is less so like that um especially the older that he gets where my older brother is way more so like that now so now if things start to get too tense or too heated or we're on a topic that really you don't want to discuss on a Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas Day or whatever um I try to make light of it I try to say things like well clearly we're going to solve The World's problems today um or you know like just kind of make jokes to you know point out that getting this deep into an argument really has no purpose like we're not nothing's going to come of this except for maybe some hurt feelings but nobody's going to accomplish anything per se from the argument um every once in a while if it does get too too much I just make the comment I I'll just start agreeing like yeah I know you're totally right you're totally right absolutely totally totally yep um cuz people hate that cuz they know it's so sarcastic which it is but there's that shiny reflection mirror yeah exactly um and you know I see my family often enough I generally see my dad and my older brother almost every week um so it's we unless something poignant is going on in the world or in politics or something we've probably already discussed it on some level before we've reached that place so it's not so much like that anymore with holidays for me the strong boundary that I have to hold around holidays because we work together is they don't have a lot it seems like going on in their lives outside of work so all they want to talk about is work work and I'm like I'm not doing that today I'm not talking about any of these things you I you can talk to me literally about anything else you want the last TV show that you watched the last book you read the last Leaf you saw fall from a tree but I am not [ __ ] talking about work at a holiday so that's the only and I will actually say like no we're not talking about that today we're not justat and if they bring it up again I'll just shut it down and shut it down because I think it's stupid and I don't want to engage but I do think often yeah I mean I do think that it can be very overwhelming for some people and I do know people that use um the bathroom like what you were saying Megan like I'm going I'm do that all the time yeah and just go reenter re our only place yeah yeah which is kind of a bummer that you know family yeah can get so intense and crazy especially around it's so funny because it's always around times of the year that are supposed to be about family and Gathering and appreciating and being grateful and we're like you stupid son of a be I've only witnessed these holidays through like people I was dating like I didn't know people were like crazy until I started dating and going home with these guys and I was like oh Lordy well this is a good glimmer that I am not marrying into this family it's gonna be a no for me yeah I guess part of my the lucky key part for me is I'm just in part of a family that's like let's just not talk about it we'd rather just pretend like you're not gay it's fine this is normal this is just your friend your roommate that you brought to dinner it's fine the last 42 years yeah yeah that's what my family is also doing with uh me being a witch so we just don't talk about it perfect we all the yeah but now the kids are into rocks and I'm like oh this one's a citrine and this one's amethyst and the kids are like how do you know so much about rocks I'm like I wanted to be a geologist when I was a kid I mean I did I love it it just translates well now too that's funny I wanted to be an astronomer when I was a kid and now I'm like super astrology yeah basically same same yeah it's like the feminine side of the stem it really is it's just so funny is even I remember taking astronomy in uh College a couple of semesters ago that he was like and this is astronomy and I don't want to hear anything about astrology and I was like I'm G to slip astrology in here but in a scientific way which is masculine it was so aggressive like he was like I don't want to see any astrology the power properties of Jupiter I'm gonna talk about Jupiter today because it's Thursday I felt like a soft boundary I could push to bring it back to boundaries and all yeah what were you g to ask cat oh I was just going to say I was just going to ask Julie if she had because of um her parents being so religious if there was like holiday boundary pushing like when you go home yeah I like how I set up a little alar in a corner hide some hide dirty clothes on top of it because just in case don't want to ruffle any feathers and then we all blindly pretend that I don't drink or do drugs and have sex and that I basically would be a virgin had I not been divorced for 18 years yeah that makes sense yeah and I do that for about three days and then I try to come home as quickly as possible those are my boundaries one day it's GNA change I am a little feisty sometimes especially like if I'm like sneaking a little mug of alcohol during the holidays and it a top Hot Topic comes up like you said that unavoidable like World things and it's just like sometimes they get so aggressive with like Republican Pentecostals in the South that I just sometimes like like to sneak in like well that's not very like god-loving of you and like really bring it back home and yeah sometimes it puts it in perspective and I'm like I Think Jesus made those people so we should probably be loving them right like super basic but I'm just the neighborhood witch I do like to stir up a little trouble every now and then but for the most part my family is just like really really nice people they sweep everything into the road we just don't talk about it and it'll be like that until the day we die I think and that's it it's quiet at least unless you have the parrots it's not who can hear other people's chaos over the parrot it's a lot easier to ignore whatever Julie's doing if the parents just all day my emotional inner duress can't hear it over the parents fine that might be the point I get it now that's what I think of like my mom and so I feel like I've kind of had a boundary of just like I'm just not going to talk about this stuff because I don't want her to feel uncomfortable I don't want to hear hear it like and then I'd be like hey Mom can you watch my kids and she's like why and I'm like well I'm doing this thing and she's like tell me more about the thing and I'm like okay I will but it's like I went from having like a I have a like witchie study group and I've always called them just my book club and I'm like yep I'm just going to book club or like I'm just going to my study group and my mom would be like what are you studying and then I slowly was like all right we're studying asy and she's like oh fun like whatever you know and and then and then I told her I started a business and she's like oh what's your business for and I was like um reading cards she's like okay I'm like she doesn't really ask me any questions but I'm like if you ask me the questions to get to that point I'm going to tell you and then she's usually like don't ask questions that you don't want the answers to yeah and then she's like all right well I guess I'm going to go a different direction but like I had trying yeah and had like tarot cards on my birthday and like I had everyone kind of sign on one and I like handed the deck to my mom and I was like hey Mom here's what we're doing and she's like all right and she like picked one of course it was the empress but that's just her oh yeah that's amazing yeah hell of a first card to draw I know yeah that's so funny I never thought about this before this is kind of off on a tangent but my dad's like totally the opposite he doesn't I don't really talk to him about any of the stuff that I do um like in the spiritual world or anything like that because he's like super atheist and he just thinks it's nonsense so it's like the total opposite of like parents that don't like it because they think you're going to go to hell my dad's just like it's such a waste of brain power and time like it's just you're not a child grow up kind of thing you know yeah and it's still like in that space of how much information do you disclose about what you're up to and what you're doing because I just don't want to keep having that conversation you know or like whatever it is that I'm like it's an interesting thing especially when you put it in the context of boundaries like what the boundary of disclosure is when you're talking to somebody that you know doesn't agree with your life um because I want to be honest with people especially family I don't want to be like lying for sure um and I don't necessarily want to hide things from people that I care about but at the same time it's like I know they don't get it so kind of like what's the point um and if you don't feel emotionally safe then that's your boundary yeah yeah and it's like the more you try to explain it the more they're just like I'm like okay well because yeah I think that's a really good point Julie that it is about emotional safety that I started doing the same with even friendships if I know someone's going to be emotionally volatile when I tell them the truth then I'm just not going to be as honest and brutal you know I just take it down to whatever I feel is safe but still communicating a what I can well and that's how I feel like again how the boundaries are constantly moving because I've always had had such a firm boundary with my mom of like you know we just don't talk about it like I told her that I left the church and that was enough like she knows that I'm on a different path now and we're just going to leave it um but yeah it was like a slow moving of like oh you know what I feel comfortable enough like having this discussion with you I at the very least feel emotionally safe enough in my decision to do this that when I share it with with you no matter how you receive it I feel confident in myself that I'm not going to be hurt by how you receive it and it's like once I realized that I got to that point and that was my boundary of like oh you know I am comfortable with this choice now I am like feel like I'm on the right path and I do like have a strong conviction for what I'm doing and then it made it easier for me to open my boundary because I I and maybe that's part of it is like I think of a boundary as like a fence around a space right and it's only since I like started earlier today in this exact conversation I I started thinking it was like I kept saying space and I was like you know what to me like a boundary is a little fence around a thing and it's like once I can fill up or create the space that I can open that boundary or reinforce that boundary with like I create a space that's like safe for where I can have that conversation I create a space that you know is safe for me to go to and that's where I draw my boundary is like okay where am I safe I think of like a a pin that your livestock is in like horses are in a pin and I'm like okay now my pin can go here I can have that conversation only in this event but when I'm ready I'll I'll Trot on over and go into that and so it's like my boundaries are just like the space that is like where I'm happy and where I feel comfortable and then you know going outside of that is just going to be re-evaluating where I'm at to find the next step outside of it anyway like graduation yeah I like it yeah I like that it's true though like you your response to things when you're in a higher frequency might be like safer for everyone but you have to be in that good space yeah like I've noticed if I'm in a lower frequency like I've had a lot of bad things I'm a lot more short-tempered and a lot less patient so it's going to be a hard boundary that we don't have a difficult conversation at this time but not in an an avoidant way or anything just be like hey can we put a pin into this I just really have to like recharge my battery I'm not okay yeah that's a hard boundary but it's honestly been one of my favorite ones lately well and it's so hard because we've talked so much about how other people don't necessarily respect our boundaries it's us who uphold it but because we're upholding those boundaries it can also hurt other people and I think that that is probably the hardest part because I know Julie kind of mentioned like we're we're people Pleasers like I know that I am at something I've always struggled with is like how do I prioritize myself over everything else and as I've like found again my conviction in who I am it's easier for me to hold that boundary and so I feel like that's a good way to if you feel like holding a boundary is hurting other people I almost feel like re-evaluating why you yourself are creating that boundary is going to help you not feel bad about the other person's reaction to your boundary because you're like no like if I let my mom say that to me or if I let my dad you know do this thing it's not going to make me comfortable and so I have to leave like the second that things get elevated at the house I have to go because that's just I'm not going to handle it well they're obviously not handling it well I'm out and having those boundaries like other people are going to be offended by that but that's not why I have a boundary I have a boundary for me and as I became more convicted to myself and more honest with myself about why I was feeling ways and it's probably a little bit I think of like Shadow work right of evaluating why a situation makes you feel a certain way and then finding where that boundary is and then reassuring yourself that like this boundary is healthy this boundary is so that I don't have to go to this dark place place no matter how anyone else is taking it like the boundary is for me and that's okay you're the only one living in this existence for yourself like everyone else has to deal with their own [ __ ] yeah absolutely that's how I feel about it yeah and so enforcing your boundaries doesn't hurt anybody but I also think that's another important thing is enforcing your boundary shouldn't be forcing someone else to conform to your boundary it should be you enforcing it for yourself and that other person either stays or they don't but you're not trying to press somebody into the cookie cutter of your boundary yeah and I think this is a good example of like where oftentimes communication can be super helpful of commun when you're communicating that boundary to someone I feel a lot less bad if they have a negative reaction to a boundary once I've communicated the boundary to them and oftentimes I try to word it in a way like I'm not doing this to be hurtful to you but if I don't take this time out now it's going to be so much worse later so you can have your feelings mildly hurt now or Big Hurt later because if you push and push and push I'm G to get to the point where I'm going to be super mad and then I'm going to just go I'm not talking to you for a solid week or whatever it is um when I've asked you to stop talking about this thing or I've asked for a change in the dialogue or I've said I'm not going to participate in this behavior and you push and push and push right it's going to go one way and it's not going to be a good way so you know making sure that the that boundary is clear and that it's not about them it's about yourself like I need this for myself and if you respect me as a person it shouldn't hurt your feelings that I need to take a step back or out or whatever it is and I think sometimes I mean I definitely forget this especially in a weird way because I am kind of such a hyper emotional person so like for example I try not to talk about what's bothering me while it's bothering me because then I get way more reactive than if I have like a minute like let me just Center calm down and then we can have a conversation about it but my emotions show very easily on my face so people know when I'm upset and so they'll be like oh what's wrong what's going on and then I'll say I don't want to talk about it right now and then the natural reaction from another person is like it's okay you're safe here we can talk about it we can have this conversation and so then I will become super emotional about whatever it is which oftentimes makes it worse than if I would have just held my boundary and been like I I don't want to talk about it right now but I know that they're coming from a good place and they do mean that it's a safe space to talk about it but I let that boundary slide of I don't want to talk about it right now and then I generally explode in some sort of emotional way on people I think a lot of people in my life have kind of learned that about me so now when I say I don't want to talk about it right now they're like please God don't talk about it they like we know but it is interesting and I think especially I mean I think this is really common especially because of the empath narcissistic relationship that we talked about in the last episode that people that have narcissistic Tendencies everything's about them so when you make a boundary they're automatically going to be offended and make the assumption that it's about them when really boundaries are only about the person that set up the boundary it doesn't have anything to do with anybody else but protecting themselves in some way and the best way to deal with a narcissist is to ignore them just saying they hate that [ __ ] time out just sarcastically agree with them it's great it takes like an hour for them to be like wait a minute this is the best we've ever gotten along yeah like oh fine finally you've seen the light specifically when you're I know you talk about like you even mentioned it here like the astral projecting do you feel like when you're going to the astral plane is there any specific boundaries that you feel like you need to set um when you're doing that or that you've set for yourself do you like have any advice on how like kind of what that looks like as a boundary in your practice and when you're doing that I mean for me really like I mentioned I try not to have like my this brain remember everything that I do at night because it's just like a little jarring and I know like I'm out there um doing all kinds of things and people are literally messaging me weekly like oh my God you were in my dream and we were doing this this and I it's too much like I just can't I can't comprehend I can't process that and this world right now and that's a hard boundary I have but I definitely take times like you were kind of saying like where you set it into itions aside to like okay these are the days I'm open to remembering what it was that I did as far as a hard boundary goes like I've created my specific portals for protection and I feel like I'm pretty well versed and trained to hop in there whenever I feel safe um and I have different protections that I use to like be safe in that world yeah I think the my just my biggest boundary is that my body doesn't feel drained when I wake up like that the spirit world should be completely spirit and my body should be completely this world because it's just too much so brain and body hard hard differentiations cat do you have any experiences of like how boundaries specifically have like helped you at some point in your practice aside from just the overall that we've kind of talked about of office hours yeah I mean kind of to lean back into what you said about putting boundaries in line with your ethics especially in my practice um that's a big part of it I mean obviously I have the boundaries around the space protecting and not allowing certain levels of energy or whatever to enter the space all that type of stuff set up I won't ever read for people without permission before every session I always ask the client sometimes things pop up do you want me to talk to you about them do you want me to not say anything do you want to wait until the end of the session and then you can decide because sometimes things will come up as I'm working on someone and if they have said like no I just finished skiing I just want a good massage great I will set that boundary to like my guides to their guides he's made it clear there's no messages coming through I don't want to hear anything I don't even want the option to hear it I don't if they say no for whatever reason that is their choice and that's a boundary that I won't cross and I think that's the same thing kind of just in general with stuff in the kind of esoteric space I don't like when people say I got this message about you [ __ ] no you didn't and I know we talked about this before yeah but I just think it's such bad spiritual hygiene to just walk around trying to peek into everybody's field into everybody's life just because you have the aess and the power doesn't mean you need spiritual hygiene is just such a good word for it cuz e yeah yeah don't go putting your stuff in everybody's business it's just like the same thing that every I don't walk around sticking my fingers in everybody's mouths don't go sticking your sight inside of everybody's Fields like it's just not so I think that's a pretty a pretty good one that I um am pretty strong with in my practice for sure I love that I feel like for me boundaries with my practice like also it's very along the lines of kind of what you were just saying cat of like I don't go and poke everybody in the mouth but also like I don't want everybody's mouth on my finger like gross so you know who knows especially people who are just like you know living in the 3D World and as an empath like I can walk into a room and I can just like feel someone's emotions and I'm like oh you're upset like I don't want to feel upset like I came here for a good time like and I feel like boundaries are good for me in a way that like I'm not picking up everybody else's energy I'm I'm defining Myself by those boundaries and I get to be myself within those boundaries it's like when I push myself outside of them I have to appease somebody else or I have to be you know sad because this person's sad and now I feel sad because I let that person into my space and I wasn't ready for it you know and so I think that having a clear boundary for me has really helped me like find my authenticity in a spiritual way this is what my energy feels like because I feel like I walk around and I just am being hit by waves of energy and I'm just like okay I don't want these things and so it's nice to go out and be like Oh I'm going to go out dancing and the only thing that I need to be worried about right now is myself like oh yeah like I need to go out I don't need to worry about the bachelorette party I don't need to worry about you know this couple that's breaking up like I'm G to have a good time because that's what my energy level is at and I'm going to protect it do you guys have any thoughts on boundaries and protection in the more physical sense not just in the 3D emotional mental plane or the 5D emotional spiritual plane but like in the physical do you have any thoughts on that like protective aspect of a boundary um well I definitely think that's kind of the along the same lines as like creating a bubble around your house or runes at your front door um that are a hard line you shall not pass boundary honestly for me I kind of Outsource a lot of that stuff to like my people that are around me um mostly because I feel like and it it might be because I'm a single parent but I feel like the mental emotional spiritual task of protecting myself and my two kids get so draining sometimes that it's hard for me to hold physical boundaries as well which I have learned the hard way because I've had people come into my house and like steal things that they'll learn the hard way that you don't you don't steal from a witch instantly knowing like this person shouldn't be in my house but not having the physical boundary in place beforehand makes it so much more of a mental load than it needed to be right like having a good physical boundary in place from the beginning takes away so much of the backend work that you you have to do when it's not in place obviously so now recently I've really kind of started cultivating a relationship with my house and the energy of the house specifically to offload some of that task work to the house you know like I love you I take care of you I keep you clean let's look after each other you're going to guard the door along with these other things and people with certain energy levels or intentions just can't come through that door and it's super fascinating once you learn how to set those boundaries for yourself in a physical sense uh how quickly it happens and also it's so interesting to see how it happens you know like so and so's going to come over today and then oh they got in trouble that they can't hang out anymore oh isn't that convenient you know like just little things that will come up that will make it so that they can't come into the space Have you ever watched the movie The Skeleton Key it's like a '90s early 2000s kind of horror movie oh wait maybe was it Kate Hudson or some on yeah like it was so long but yeah scary movies but Kate Hudson wasn't it less scary yeah for some reason that movie kind of really messed me up for a while but there's one part in that movie I don't know if you remember where she gets the red brick desk and She lays it across the threshold of the door and the lady can't cross the door that taught me so much about setting physical boundaries and the intention and the work that can go that help hold those physical boundaries so anytime the conversation about physical boundaries with h specifically comes up I always think about that scene because it's just so emblazoned in my mind I think that was the first time when I saw that movie I was like holy [ __ ] like you can actually do that like you can set a boundary that somebody cannot cross that's amazing I did it with my roommate in New York oh it worked it was super trippy yeah really weird yeah my other friend she believed it she saw it with her own eyes and she was like uh and I was like yeah they're so at that door she thinks it's kitty litter oh nice yeah yeah outside of like my home I don't know that I necessarily have like physical I mean obviously I have boundaries around like my don't touch my body without consent oh I guess my car there's some I've done some work on my car um as a physical boundary those are mine as well it's weird that you mentioned that you were working with your house like as a protection because I was doing the same work this week and like I've never I don't know I heard it like last week or a couple weeks ago something about like I mean I always knew that my house and I like we have a Vibe it's clear when you walk in but this week I'm like scrubbing the floors and doing the the the baseboards and everything trying to get it like deep clean before my surgery on Thursday and I'm like okay like get the house ready and you could just feel such like this like and like the house was like all right I'm at your service again like we're feeling good and it was like a it was like such a physical reaction I was like I am so sorry I've neglected you I haven't been home all month even the cat's still better in it too yeah like obviously yeah my cats are huge protections and the happier the cat the happier we all are but specifically because they do so much spiritual work as well U but it also yeah it goes forward into my car and other than that I don't really I rely on my psychic gifts and my ancestors when I'm in public and signs and things I'm pretty open and aware like going out for any messages of warning specifically other than that not I not trying to like download some intense ass messages while I'm driving but like if you guys are trying to tell me like to not run that yellow light I'm listening yeah simple yeah I love that you both brought up like kind of the idea of working with a house your house Spirit right um I I think there's a culture I I'm sure there are several cultures that worship like the house Spirit as part of the family almost you know not worship but like treat it like part of the family it's just as important it's you know like Julie said it's contributing to the happiness of this whole organ ISM right is where we live and where we stay and so I think it's I love that so much um I also really like if you've ever heard of cators I think that they're great in helping creating and setting like a physical boundary and it's very similar to like working with a house Spirit right you decide how you're going to like what the relationship is what you need it to do what you want it to do and then um how you feed it right like you you can't just be like okay now go do your thing and then it just hangs out and does nothing like you have to be constantly working on that um connection as well and so I really like the cators as a way to kind of give myself a home protection and it has had such a a crazy effect like my son told me the other day that his heater spoke to him and I was like okay great and like I don't know if it was in a dream completely or not but it was in the middle of the night and he's like and it told me to come in here because it wasn't safe in my room tonight and I was like sure great like I'm not going to argue with it my husband I because I I had I had to tell him like I tell him about all the stuff I'm doing I'm like hey just so you know like this is happening so that he can I don't expect him necessarily to consent to it but I'm just like hey like this is what I'm working on especially if it's going to involve him or the kids in some way I want him to know that I'm like being respectful of their boundaries while also being like I'm creating a boundary for all of us because we need it and so I really love that you so I really try to like keep him in involved in all this stuff and I was like so Elliot told me this thing and it's super weird um what do you think of this and he was like well that's a an interesting coincidence and I'm I'm like that's what you call it I told him I'm like I officially have stopped believing in coincidences like I'm reading not reading into everything but I'm taking note of anything that feels like a coincidence and really like letting it sit because I'm like wow that was such a weird thing and it but you know what I'm not going to question it and we'll just keep going and we'll see how this evolves and all of the things so it's been it's been so interesting learning to do that working and learning what it means for myself and my family and um I do like I feel like even though my husband is not witchy magical practicing at all when I feel like I inform him of these things and they're in line with his values as well or something he would want which is a safe house great it strengthens my working even though he isn't like putting anything into it but if he agrees with my intention like his energy does come into play and it's really cool to have that kind of backing up the decisions that I'm making in the things that are going on because it really feels like it helps sure up you know those boundaries that I'm setting that I'm like okay you know if I were doing this thing what would you want to include those are some of my ways that I really like doing a physical protection I also feel like I Bubble Up out anywhere else like if I feel like a commotion happening while I'm at the park or something I like put a hard and fast like bubble over my people my things like so quick um I was at a club or something and there was this girl who just seemed really judgy and we were all like having a good time and she was like sitting there with like she had like a chihuahua with her and she's like in her like cocktail dress and I'm you know me with green hair and jeans on and ruining a Vibe whatever and so I'm like like and she was just the way that she was like kind of interacting with the people around her and then at one point she like had her phone up and was pointing at it at somebody and I was just like this is not okay and I like bubbled that space and when I watched her walk out the door within like what like 30 seconds of when I was like no this is not happening like we're here for a good time if you're not you can get out and she walked out within like 30 seconds and I did not see her the rest of the night and she didn't walk out the front door she walked out to the smoking like patio and then I was like all right well that problem solved anyway it was just one of those things that I was like you didn't come here to judge us and it wasn't like oh you leave it was like if you're not here for a good time leave and that's when she walked out and I was like well great you know we solved that issue and she didn't come back from the smoking patio like I don't think the rest of the night I never saw her I think her boyfriend came in and got her drinks and stuff and it was I was just like yeah like this isn't happening and I bubbled that whole space that whole dance floor I was like this is this is for good times I do bubbles like that for me and my friends but I like the this is a good vibes spot I like that a lot do you guys have any other questions or thoughts on boundaries that you can think of I don't think I do of course like 4 AM is when I'm gonna have all the burning questions but honestly like I feel like we covered quite a a fair amount like not only the 3D 5D family members uh protection uh ways to prevent it ideas yeah basically a beauty Elixir yes um yeah like what else could you ask for thanks for joining the all podcast to find out more you can find us online at academyof logic andl light.org or on Facebook YouTube Instagram and Tik Tok at Academy of logic and light if you live in the Salt Lake Valley we'd love to see you at one of our upcoming events and don't forget to support our growth by joining our patreon until next time lead with logic and Light