Path 3 · Why Relief Never Lasts

Welcome to Survival to Creation with Corey Thoral, presented by the Academy of Logic and Light. If you've ever felt like you're living on autopilot, reacting instead of creating, you're in the right place. This isn't about becoming someone new. It's about recognizing the survival patterns that once protected you, building awareness, and learning to create from a place of resonance instead of reaction. Every first and third Friday, we'll explore the journey from 3D survival through 4D awakening into 5D creation, combining practical tools, reflection, guided experiences, and real conversations that help transform insight into lived experience. Our live episodes stream publicly on YouTube and all TV, opening the door for anyone who's curious. And for those ready to go deeper, our private community offers replays, journal prompts, guided practices, dream harvesting, and ongoing support between sessions. This isn't about fixing yourself. It's about becoming the author of your own life. So, take a breath, get curious, and let's begin the journey from survival to creation. Good morning. >> Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. So good to be back with you, Julie. Nice to see you. >> You, too. >> I want to >> Yes. I want to jump right in. Right in. Right in. Right in. Um, waking up thinking about being right back where you were before all of this work last time with a tight chest at 2:13 in the morning. It could become a life sentence in about five seconds. Now let me show you what I mean. Think of a time when you actually did the work that you wanted to do. You made the change. You set the boundary. You sent the email. You took the workshop. You left the job. You ended the relationship. And afterward, ah the relief. I did it. The shoulders drop. Your brain got quiet. You slept. You thought thank god. And then Tuesday happens. and your mind starts running again. You see their name on the phone and your stomach drops. You open the laptop and you suddenly suddenly you're working until dark again. And then you said yes to the opportunity you wanted and now you have built an entire argument for backing out of it. And that's the sentence, here I am again. And maybe yours sounds like I thought this was the past. After all the work I've done, I should be further than this. Apparently nothing changed. That sentence here I am again is where I want to spend our time today. So everybody, I'm Corey Thorell and this is Path Pathway three, survival to creation and I'm hanging out with Julie. Julie, thanks for having me back. I want to just jump in right there. >> I love that. Great start. And as always, we're so on point with what's going on, at least in my field of energy. I'm like, "Yep, we're exactly where we need to be today." So, thank you uh for having me also. >> Absolutely. And pathway three. Last time we talked about dream intending, dream harvesting. And the assignment back two weeks ago was the list of a hundred things that you freaking out, jumping for joy, goosebumps, and butterflies in your tummy. Love, love, love, love, love. If you just like it, it doesn't make the list. You have to love gigantically. I want to know, Julie, how is your list of hundred things? >> We're about at four right now. It was a >> four tough week. >> It was a tough week for my joy to be honest. >> All right. >> That made me cry without goosebumps. >> But I do have fun. >> Okay. But for practice sake, I want you to tell me five things right now that you freaking out love. And I know that coffee is one of them. >> Coffee is one of them. Especially if it's like coffee from Europe or South America or vanilla is the best. >> What else? >> Um, obviously my cats and my boyfriends. We have my We have our little pack of wolves here and everything everything to do with the academy lights me up usually. >> Yeah, exactly. >> Usually, >> right. Now, I want like three little personal things like coffee is one of them. For me, coffee and chocolate at the same time takes it even higher. >> I'd say pickles for sure. Pickles, wine, and popcorn together combo is my I could Olivia Pope all day. I'm fine. I don't need anything else. Maybe some cheese. >> Yes. Okay, good. >> Yeah. >> Good. And this is proof that life is good. >> Yes. Yes. Actually, >> exactly. So, once again, that list of a hundred things, the point of that for those of you who may not have been with us last time, if you're kind of freaking out in the world right now, or you're having that moment of, "Oh god, I'm here again. I failed. I'm back where I started." The first assignment and we're going to talk about this this entire journey with all 12 of these tools is to coming back to the proof the evidence that life is amazing >> because we need that as a foundation to stand on top of to see the landscape of the work of what is possible. So those of you out there, that list of a hundred things that you're freaking out, love, love, love, love, love, can be small things, little things. They can be really big things, too. But it's proof that we're loving gigantically. And when we do that, our nervous system calms down. Our connection to source, our imagination, our intuition comes back online. And this is the language of creator consciousness. So I wanted to start by bringing in the reminder from last time that we're stepping into creator consciousness and we're doing that this time too. So today is called the title of today is why relief never lasts. Now that's a big thing to ask. Why is that? That's that's an amazing question, right? >> What do what do you think when you ask that question? Why relief? Why does relief never last? Julie, what pops in your mind? The first thing I think of is just that like half half glass empty perspective of that good things can never last like we or you know everything is cyclical in nature for sure but I don't know sometimes it's that pessimistic thing when you get to the top you're like >> wow it feels so good but I know it's about to go downhill >> right right and if we're expecting it to end it does >> yes yes >> that's the story we're telling that's the story we play out and that's >> that's unconscious ious behavior. That's conscious behavior happening at the same time. And we're going to talk about that today. And so, let's be I want to be truthful. I'm having a little fun with that title, why relief never lasts. It's intentionally provocative. Because of course, relief can last. But today, we're talking about those moments when relief fades away. And some suddenly that old voice, that old belief, the old version of you stands right there and says, "Why?" Yeah, but I don't get to. I'm here again. I must be a failure. I I'm not good enough. That is the question we're going to answer today. Because if you recognize that quote, "Here I am again, that moment right there, I want you to know that moment when that voice knocks on the door. Oh God, here I am again. I'm back where I started. All of a sudden, we're right here again." I want to know that moment. We're going to invite that moment. So, if those of you out there watching and listening or joining us on Tik Tok, YouTube, all TV, if you've had one of these moments, and I know we all have about, oh I'm back here again. Ah, damn it. I did the work, but I'm back where I started. Put something in the chat like I know the moment or the word moment. Put it in the chat. Let us know that you're here. And if you're also joining us in YouTube and all TV, we want to know you're here. And so give us a thumbs up and subscribe and share this conversation with someone you love because your support goes a long way in helping the academy and helping us reach more people just like you. So there's my little invitation, my professional plug about what we're doing today. But before we get started in my workshops, I always do something at right at the very beginning at the opening of every every single circle. I call it art and beauty. I want to call in something from art or beauty or mastery from the ceremony because human beings have been trying to understand these moments that we're teaching for a very long time. Poets have written about them. Psychologists have studied them. Artists have painted them. Mystics have prayed about them. Writers have spent their lives working the language and the experience about meeting ourselves again. So before we Corey time the crap out of this session today, I found four little moments. And the first one is from TS Elliott from the four quartets. He was writing about um there's a quote from one of his poems and it's this and know the place for the first time. And know the place for the first time. I love this quote. You arrive somewhere familiar and somehow you are capable of seeing it differently. We've come around again. We get to see it with new eyes. More life has happened. More experience has happened. First moment. Next one is from Carl Young. He wrote about what happens when an inner situation remains outside of conscious awareness. Right? When our inner autopilot is driving when we don't even know it's driving. His work explored how something happens beneath our awareness and how it organizes the experience that we're having. Just like you mentioned, Julie about ah the glass is half empty so I see the world that way and then sure enough it's always empty. Now that matters today because sometimes the sentence here I am again appears so quickly that we experience that as a certain truth or a verdict. The thought happened before we even noticed ourselves thinking it. And then another one of my favorite writers, Ray Maria Rilk, writes in letters to a young poet this sentence. Live the questions. Now, think about that for a second. The questions, we always have questions, but how many of us drop the question without giving the question time? Live the questions. Now, every time around the spiral, every new set of facts, every noticing of what matters this time creates another opportunity to step in, to listen, to hear, to pause long enough to see more, to read the menu. Now, these three different people, three different worlds. Elliot gives us the familiar place scene with new eyes. Young invites us to live inside the question long enough for something new to become possible, right? And real is saying kind of the same thing. That's the territory that we're going into today. That's why I love art and beauty. It reminds me that I am joining a conversation that's been going on longer than we've been here today. Human beings have been walking around this mountain for centuries. So today we get our turn. So there's my art and beauty sector. What do you think about that, Julie? >> Gorgeous. So good. Wow. >> Little just a nugget of mastery. We're not alone on this path, >> right? Yeah. Totally. >> All right. So, once Julian, what's the name? I'm gonna call you into the hot seat. >> Oh, boy. >> Right. I want to start with a real human being and then you're the one sitting here. So, thanks for being willing to play. >> >> Does a moment come to mind when you made a real change and you felt some genuine relief and then later had one of those, oh damn, here I am again moments back where I started. >> Yeah. >> You got one in mind? >> A few. A few. I mean, I I've I've gone around this planet, what is it, the around the sun 43 times. So, there's a lot. >> That's a great example. But one in particular, I was like I was living in New York for a while and I was a a flight attendant in her 20s and 30s living my best life but also my worst life because I was not thriving. >> It looked great on Instagram, but internally it was a hot mess express like most people and everything. But I basically decided I was like, "Okay, I need a change." and I decided to pack up all of my belongings and move as far away as possible to LA where at first it was I was like gross, yay, I did it. Yay. And then I I quickly fell back into my old patterns. >> Yeah. And what did those old patterns what did that really look like though? Your wish to move, your wish for a new world, and then the old one chased you there. Yeah, it it it was it was complicated and messy and I feel very lucky to be alive. >> Thank you for that. Thanks for that honesty. >> Yeah. >> Those of you out there listening, you know, let's find I invite you all to find one of these moments when oh my god, I did the workshop. I took the class. I made the change. I made the call. I ended the relationship. I started something new and then all of a sudden the old you was knocking heavily on the door. I want to recall that moment, that moment of awareness into our conversation today. The old familiar thought, the voice, the belief, the behavior, the feeling, the experience, whatever it was for you, it showed up again. And then what really happened? Here's my dream and the old me at the same time. Now, this is the moment I'm interested in today. I have a sacred wish of tomorrow and a pile of today. this moment right there. We all do it. There's no immunity to this growth. We We all have these moments. So, if you're listening out there, find a little one or a big one, but please be willing to give yourself a little permission to pause with it. One layer up looking back at that moment. We're one layer up today. So, it's there, that sentence. Let's hold on to it because something happened and then your mind gave what happened a meaning. Those are two different events. The remembering of the event and then the meaning that you gave the event. >> So then these it shows up with words. Oh, I'm doing it again and I thought I had healed this. >> Yeah. And then I knew I would screw it up. And I guess I have not changed. This is the story. And I know it's familiar. If this is familiar out there, give us a word, a moment, or a claim in the comments. Let us know you're listening. Different lives, different circumstances, and this very human experience. This thing happens, the old feeling arrives, and within seconds, meaning rushes in behind it. the old story, the old explanation, the old identifi, the old identifier right there. >> Right. >> Yeah. I guess I keep seeing it too is like, okay, the first moment that where you're identifying it and what we do with it is like kind of that empowering moment. I'm I'm like seeing it, you know, I'm a clear >> um >> but the way I was kind of seeing I was like, okay, once you identify the information of okay, yeah, I'm disappointed in myself. The pattern has happened again. But I could choose to put that in my shame file and and cause damage, reoccur it, or I could choose to put do that in my action file and take care of it right now and move forward. >> Exactly. But let's remember that there's two things happening here that we often blend into one. >> Yeah. There's the moment, the trigger, the event, and then the meaning, the old story shows up to to define it, defend it, to explain it, to re-engage with it in the way we used to. Or let me put it in another way, your unconscious programming takes the driver's seat because our unconscious mind doesn't know the difference between right or wrong or truth or fiction. It just knows what we did last time to stay safe. And we're going to do that first. And it happens instantly. So the point of this right now is to say the moment that appears as one thing is really two moments. The trigger and then the meaning we give it. And with our creator consciousness, we are aware that we are aware. We're pausing long enough to separate these into two moments. >> So that's our foundation. That's where we're starting. Why does relief not last? Well, here's one of the first reasons is the old definition, the old explanation, the old identity says, "Yeah, that's great, but we got work to do. We've got work to do." >> Right? So, answering the question of the title, why does relief why does the relief fade? We can answer that with a couple of different ways to look at this. Let's look at relief. Changes the pressure. The instant relief. I've got a pressure valve. And the relief goes, "Oh, I feel much better. I let some pressure off. The deadline passes. The relationship ended. The boundary got set. The schedule changed. Whatever it is for you, that difficult conversation happened. The external pressure changes and you exhale. The relief is real and it's tender and it most importantly it feels good. It feels really good. And here's the part that matters. A circumstance can change in one decision. The unconscious mind has been learning through repetition for years. The relief comes from the one decision. Yes, I did it. But your unconscious mind with its repeating patterns and the strength and the momentum says, "Um, excuse me. Um, we're still here." Knock knock knock. Knocking on the door. Your unconscious stores the memories. It makes the associations. It creates habits. It notices what has helped you belong. What helped you feel useful? What helped you anticipate your version of danger or trouble. It knows how you identified with being connected or belonging. It helped you move through life. And when something has worked long enough, it is familiar. It's efficient. It's automatic. But you can change the jobs. You still arrive at the new job carrying the old familiar habit, answering the old email in the same way. I hate that job. I'm going to go get a new job, but I'm back in the same job again. Oh, I'm going to break up with this relationship. And next thing you know, I'm in love with the same relationship and I'm right back where I started again. Does this sound familiar, Julie? Do you have some of these moments? I know I do. >> Yeah, >> I know I do. I have this amazing dream to grow and heal and move forward and I change the situation. I changed the people. >> Oh, but here I am again. >> Here I am again. Right? We can set that boundary and still feel your stomach drop when the old trigger pushes your buttons. You can choose the new opportunity and still have that familiar voice preparing for all of the reasons to retreat and run away. You can finally rest and discover that some parts of your of you still associate movement with what's valuable, what's going on. There's something matters. The yeah, but matters. A lot of us, we're going to talk next week about yeah, but or next time about yeah, but but there's something about the relief ending because the we got work to do. We've got dream work to do. It's a relief moment. We don't live in a state of relief. The familiar protective assignment came with you from your unconscious mind. Right? The unconscious is faithfully using what it already knows. It's running the instructions that have become familiar through repetition and association. This is this creates experience, identity, and meaning. Yeah, there's a lot of words I'm saying here and I'm saying it over and over again in different ways because I know that we all hear, feel, and touch story in new ways all individually. That's why relief itself is temporary. The pressure changed with relief. But the assignment continued the old identity still driving. The unconscious programming still running. And this is where something much deeper than relief becomes available. With relief, we get to breathe. Like we talked about a minute ago, I'm relaxing enough for my creativity and my imagination to come back online. My connection to source comes back online. And when we are calm enough to dream again, relief turns into restoration. Now, that's the other side here, the next step. Very often, relief turns right back to, "Oh, here I am again." But with restoration, we're building a new relationship. Relief changes the pressure. Restoration changes the relationship with our story, with our experience, with our understanding, with our ability to redefine what it used to mean to what it we would like it to mean. Now, restoration begins when the familiar pattern becomes conscious enough for us to see it. The old self knocks on the door. Oh, I know you. Come in. Please sit down. I know why you came. I'm going to relieve you of duty. And say we're now doing it differently. This is when relief turns into restoration. We understand what has been what the old self has been doing. The protection, the old behavior knocks on the door and says, "Yeah, but this matters. Yeah, the dream is cool and amazing and delightful, but we have work to do first. So often the yeah, but means stop failure, surrender in this new way of being in creator consciousness. Yeah, but is not a stop and surrender. say, "Yeah, this matters enough to pause, to dream gigantically enough." Like we said last time, to love gigantically enough to become powerful for you with me, that moment, the yeah, but matters. We're going to dive deep into that next week. But here we are, the here I am again. I'm back here again. It may be the moment something has been running automatically and it finally becomes visible. The automatic becomes invitation to pause and visibility changes everything. I am now aware that I'm aware. I'm going to stop right there. Tell me back what I just said. >> Oh no. >> Right. >> You want me to start? >> Right. My brain is just going like, >> "Yeah." >> So, what sparked, you know, what for you, Julie? What where did you find yourself in what I just said? >> There there's like again, I'm I'm processing quickly as f as fast as possible being on a live stream, but >> right all day, I'm sure. But the the things that were standing out to me was okay. Yes. So even in the the scope of things this week, there's been a lot of relief that the systems I've created are functioning and working and things are flowing. But also in the same way, there's been also like all these different sorts of like setbacks. And like I could see my protection patterns coming in of like wanting to protect myself and who I am as a person and my identity and my child as the academy and everything. And now I'm like, okay, well, yeah, that's nice, but also there's more. >> Right now, I'm gonna invite Julie, the tender-hearted warrior, the emotional being, the the real human in the story. Where did you take it personally? >> Where did I take it personally? >> Yeah. >> Um, I think uh it comes back to the thing I've been struggling the most for the last like four weeks. if you've been around in the heroes journey that we've been going through is worthiness. Um, and also >> worthy. >> Yeah. And people pleasing of me. I I guess trying to prove my worth by making awesome things, but also like if nobody sees it, I don't really care. I like it because I built it. So, >> right. So, and there's a there's a tension there. There's Right. Here's the old self. I'm not worthy. Here's the new self saying, "Bullshit. Yes, I am. >> And I'm having fun. >> Uhhuh. >> And the and the level of fun and the excitement and the success is the proof and the evidence to say, "Oh, I'm not worthy is actually welcome at the table. You have a job to do. You're showing up with a gift. You're showing me everything I've ever been and all that I carry and that it matters and that I still have work to do >> at the same time." both of those stories existing at the table at the same time. >> It's not one or the other. It's >> Yeah, exactly. So, this next little section here, I call it the courtroom. >> This is an image that helped me understand this. What what's happening, right? So, imagine that there is a courtroom in your head. Everybody out there w with this moment. I'm here again. Oh my god, I'm here again. I can't believe I'm here again. Something happens in the courtroom comes into session. Exhibit A, I checked their page. Exhibit B, I get nervous before the meeting. Exhibit C, I stayed late at work again. Exhibit D, I snapped at somebody. I hate that. Exhibit E, I woke up worrying about money. Exhibit F. Everything I have already done to work on this, all the work, the workshops, the retreats, the books, the therapy, the journaling, the coaching, the podcast, the notes, the underlining, the highlighting, the 17 notebooks on my shelf. And the prosecutor stands up and says, "Ladies and gentlemen, clearly we are right back where we started." And the gavvel comes down. Bam. Back at square one. We all know how that feel that what that feels like, right? But let's watch what really happened. That tight chest was just one experience. I'm back at square one. Was the meaning attached to the experience. Working late happened again. I haven't changed at all. Was the story attached to it. Fear appeared. This proves I'm incapable was the conclusion. And because that process can happen instantly, automatically the interpretation can feel exactly like fact, like a truth. Now that is the courtroom. The experience was real. The verdict was an interpretation dressed up as fact. And the moment that we see that, that it's just a story, it's just watching a courtroom on TV, the lights come on. the lights that we can actually see what else is in the room. I am aware that I am aware. I saw myself have the trigger and then the explanation of my experience in the way I've done it a thousand times in my life and I breathe a little more and a relief happens. Oh, I did it again. Oh, that's all it was. I just returned to it again. Here's the sentence in my mind created because of that. Here's the story that I've done because it was familiar because of that. But now I can see. Now I'm aware that I'm aware. And when I can see the sentence being written in the courtroom, the gavvel loses its authority. It's not just a gavvel. It's just a story. What was what once sounded like case closed becomes wait what else is here what else can this mean why does it matter what am I pausing for that is move that's the movement from unconscious to conscious from autopilot to pilot the evidence stays the life sentence disappears now we have more information now we have relationship and now we have a choice voice. So there's that pause right there, that switchcraft moment where I'm going to pause long enough to see there's more on the menu for me. I now give permission for the old pattern, the old trigger, the old judgment to sit at the table and say, why have you come? What are you protecting? There's something that matters here. There's something that really matters here. as opposed to just accepting the old pattern as judgment and surrendering your dreams, returning back to your victimhood, justifying why you don't have it, telling the old story again. So, I want to stop right there. The courtroom, we all have it, but it's important to realize that we are the judge. We are both sides of the attorneys. We're the prosecutor. We're the defense. We are the jury. We are the witnesses. And we are the evidence. all at the same time. And when we are aware that we are aware, we get to spend time with each of those things and author our new story. What would you love because of all of that? With your entire life and all of that you experience and all that you carry and everything that matters, what are you loving gigantically enough to make a change for? Once again, we're coming back to that pause. So, let's pause for a second. How you doing, Julie? >> I'm I'm here. >> Yeah, >> right. >> We all have that courtroom. >> Oh, yeah. You know, but now we're gonna go but now we're gonna go from the mean, grumpy old judge to the one who actually cares about your success, >> and your well-being and your happiness and your contentness, >> your overall spirit. Wow, what a nice switchcraft. What a nice change that becomes, >> right? >> So now let's come back to the spiral. We talked at the very beginning we said we're going to talk about the spiral today. Oh my god, I'm here again. We've come back around again. Often that feels like we're stuck in a loop. And that's where I want to change to another image. When I talk about getting caught in the loop, the loop is a circle around and around covering the same ground again and again. That picture can make here I am again feel like going nowhere. But I want you to imagine something else. a beautiful spiral staircase in a gorgeous building with a window on one side. You walk around the staircase around and around and eventually you reach the same side of the building again and again. There's that same window and this is that same tree outside the window, the same view outside the window. This is a familiar place. This is the same view, but this time you are standing one floor higher. That changes everything. Fear shows up around the same conversation, the same familiar place, but this time you hear yourself rehearsing the argument before you walk into the room because you're at a new height. You catch yourself answering that work email on Saturday. That same familiar place, but this time you are aware of your hand reaching for the phone. New height. Someone crosses a boundary, a familiar place, but this time you are aware that you are aware of your reaction while the conversation is still happening. Right? The new height once again. You're one. You're coming back to where you were, but with more information, more wisdom, and you're higher up, you can see further. >> Grief arrives on an anniversary, for example, a familiar place. And this year, you arrive carrying another year of life, another year of experience, of relationships, another year of learning how you come home to yourself, a new height, a new perspective, with more wisdom in your pocket. This is what the living loop or the living spiral means to me in real life. Here I am again, but I'm one loop higher. I've come like the year, the cycles of the year or the cycles of the month, the cycles of the moon, the cycles of night and day, the cycles of the seasons, winter to summer. We revisit and we arrive carrying more more experience, awareness, language, more more choice, more evidence, more support, more courage. Maybe the difference is one breath. I am one breath further than I was a minute ago. One breath deeper than I was a moment ago. One breath between what happens and what you decide it means. Whoa. Those two moments that were used to be one that we talked about a minute ago. Wow. I just I am one breath bigger between the trigger and what I thought it meant. I'm reading the menu again. So when that familiar place appears, another question becomes available. What can I see from here that I did not see last time? We're one level up. Every time we come around, we've got more in our pockets, more experience, more frustration, more emotion, more joy, more gratitude, more questions, but one level up. >> Same window, different view. I climbed above my story. I'm now standing on top of my old story. And look how much more I can see from here. Relief doesn't last because it challenges us to ask for the next one. The relief gave me a one breath bigger than the last one so that I know the next one can be even bigger than this one. Healing is not a destination. >> Healing is a perspective. And that's why I love this word respectare, the original Latin of respect, which literally means the willingness to look again. I'm going to respect me and my experience and my history and my reaction and my dream of the future enough to stop and look again with new eyes, with all of my wisdom, and with everything that matters. I'm going to look again to see again to meet what looks familiar with the eyes of who I am this time. Here I am again becomes here I am again this time. Feel the difference. Mhm. >> Oh, here I am again to here I am this time with all that I know, with all that I carry, with all that matters. >> The person I am today, carrying everything I've learned, lived, loved, with everything I know how to see. Same place, more of me. Let's stop right there. Let's pause again. If you're out there and you're relating to this story, put pause in the comments or or check in. Let us know that you're here. Let us know that the pause matters for you, too. >> Anything waking up in you right now, Julie? Ahas, golden moments, nuggets. >> You're definitely making me feel a lot better about my my wisdom this week. >> How so? >> Disappointed in myself for maybe like Yeah. my own like thought patterns and whatnot. Like there's growth here. I'm learning >> always. What's so what I'm hearing you say? Ah, there's my old story and I'm making room for my new story at the same time. >> And then relief then relief. Oh my god, I feel better. >> I just took a breath bigger than the last one. >> Yes. So much more this way. >> Right. And we're doing it right now. >> Not tomorrow. Not next week, not next year. Right now, >> right? So, now let's talk a little bit about the knock on the door. >> What do you think I mean by that? >> It feels like it's going to be a disruptive moment. >> Yeah. >> It feels like, >> right, the knock on the door. Let's go one step deeper. Let's take everything we've talked about today, that old familiar experience, the yeah, but I don't get to the oh my god, I'm here before. The old version of you, the old fear, the the resistance knocks on the door again. The experience returns. It can feel like a knock on the door, a disruption. Tap tap tap. Something inside you is asking for attention. And so often what we've learned in our world is that hard feelings, negativity, pain, anger, shame are all things to remove. They're bad. Make them go away. Make them disappear. And when we do that, they come knocking harder. They knock louder because they have a gift to give. They're not bad. They're just parts of our story. We all do it. There's something inside asking for your attention. So maybe, oh my god, you keep checking the phone. Oh my god, something knocks. Why are you checking the phone all the time? Maybe Sunday night always carries a strange heaviness because you have to go to work on Monday. Oh, what's this difficulty or this discomfort? Knock knock knock. Tap tap tap. Maybe you rehearse the same conversation every morning in the shower, the one you're afraid to have. And the your belly tightens up. Tap tap tap. Maybe you say yes and five minutes later you resent saying yes because you wanted to say no. >> Tap tap tap. Something is knocking. But who is knocking and why? Life gets busy. Schedules fill up. Your phone buzzes. People need things. And the knocking gets louder. Pound pound. And now you're waking up at night. You're tapping and snapping at somebody you love. Oh, I didn't mean to throw my grumpy at you. I actually wanted to say I love you, but I said this sucks. Right? And then every email feels urgent. Every open space in the calendar gets filled up with stuff you don't want to do. You find yourself moving away from the very thing that you say you want. Pound, pound, pound. Now something's pounding on the door. Crash, crash, crash. The pound is getting louder. And eventually, what began as a knock can feel like breaking in. And then breaking in feels like breaking down. How many people do we know in our lives that we know are suffering and we say, "Oh my god, they have to bottom out first. They're not going to heal until they're done hurting. They're going to crash. They're going to fail. They're going to get fired. They're going to get divorced. They're not done suffering yet before they return. You're not done hurting." Right. >> Know I have moments of that in my life. There's people I really care about that I'm watching right now who are stuck right there. >> And then that breakin, that breakdown finally can turn into a breakthrough. >> Oh my god, I finally hit bottom. Nowhere to go but up. >> Sometimes I experience that as spirit knocking. Hey, there's a part of you that's saying, "Pay attention. Pay attention. Pay attention." your highest self, your soul, spirit, guidance, angels, whatever it is, saying we are here for you. That you might not be loving yourself enough to receive that. Okay? That's not judgment. That's not right or wrong. That's just the lesson that you're learning now. Okay? I have a lot of space around me for that. Something inside you matters enough to interrupt you. Is spirit knocking on your door right now? Are you hurting right now? Are you uncomfortable right now? Are you discomfort getting you out of your chair right now? So in my work, in my coaching and working in my workshops, okay, who's knocking? What part of me is knocking at the door? Who's actually knocking at the door? In our world, like I said a minute ago, we are so taught that pain is bad. Negativity is bad. Disappear, erase, make it go away. Ignore, ignore, run away, run away. The next thing you know, pound, pound, pound, crash, crash, crash, break down, break through. Here I am again. That old thought, the familiar fear, the familiar reflex, maybe part of you asking to be seen. There's a part of you asking to be seen. So come to the door. It's time to answer the door. Respect Ari. Look again. And now ask what is asking for my attention? It's not that it hurts on purpose. It's that it hurts for a reason that is strong enough to say this matters enough to pause. We've got work to do. We've got dream work to do. What is this part of me loving enough to protect? Ah, the fear, the anger, the shame, the difficulty, the pause, the feeling of the loop, being stuck in a loop. What is that part of me protecting? There's something that matters in the story. So, what what is it love enough to protect enough so that you can do what? I'm going to stop long enough so that I can fix the stuff, clean up the mess, improve, prepare for, protect things that matter so I can step into my dream coming true. So what if your failure or your pause or your looping stuck is not identity doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It's the invitation to actually do it right. What if you're doing it right? Whoa. What if you're actually doing it right? The butt in that butt matters. We're going to talk about that next time, >> right? Maybe the the part that keeps checking the email loves security. Maybe the part preparing to back out cares deeply about belonging. Maybe the part working until midnight loves to be useful and serve others. Maybe the part checking somebody's social media longs for acceptance and connection. Maybe the part filling every empty square on the calendar values predictability to feel safe, to feel included. Your answers belong to you and they're yours and they matter and they make sense to you and only you. Curiosity lets you discover it. And now think back to the title again. Why does relief not last? The relief faded because the familiar assignment was still doing its job. Wow. And now you're finally at the door together. Restoration becomes possible. A new story becomes possible. The the part knocks. You hear it. You come to the door. You open the door. And the conversation becomes I see you. I hear you. I understand why you came. Thank you. Thank you for what you bring and what you've been protecting. I hear you now. And we get to choose from here. Pain, you have a place at my door. Fear, you have a place at the table. Scarcity, thank you for showing me what matters. Anxiety, thank you for showing me what I do not want powerfully enough to show me what I do want. >> Wow. This is a very different experience from oh my god I'm here again stop >> to here I am again doing this this time with what matters that alone creates relief. >> The relief that just stopped becomes the next breath which brings relief again every single time. every single time. Same moment, different relationship, same tool, different content. So, why does relief sometimes fade? Here's the answer I want you to take home with you. Relief changes the pressure, but restoration changes the relationship. I'm in relationship with my old story and I'm in relationship with what I desire because of that >> at the same time. We're not eliminating or erasing your experience, your story, your emotions, because there's a love story in there. If you weren't feeling gigantically, you wouldn't be loving gigantically. And you're loving gigantically enough to write a new story. We're going to This is where we switch craft from looking backwards to looking forwards. because of me and all my all of my life and all of that I've experienced and all of my suffering and all of my joy because of all of that how what life do I want to live now survival to creation that's the name of this journey we're giving survival a place at the table because it matters and now what do we create because of that the relationship has changed the familiar protective assignment It may have been practiced for years. So when the old pattern appears again, you have an opportunity to recognize what came with you, what is asking for your attention with the new wisdom that you've earned. The courtroom becomes conscious. The verdict becomes informational. The circle becomes a spiral. The knock becomes an invitation. And here I am again becomes I am and I am this time present in the present moment right here. I have more life behind me. I have more awareness with me. I have more choices available and more of me has arrived. >> Let's stop there for a second. I know we're we're coming up to the end of our session today. Where are you finding yourself in my story now, Julie? >> I just keep hearing the word wisdom. >> Wisdom. >> And what does that mean for you? >> For me, it means like learning from what not necessarily even mistakes, just reframing the things that have happened to lessons so that we can grow from them. >> And for me just means not repeating the same mistakes because we learned, >> right? And if we do repeat the same mistakes, we come around one level up. >> We're not done here yet. We still have work to do. But I have more wisdom in my pocket because of the cycle, the return, the year, the the the repeat has worth. There's a reason for it. We're richer because of it. >> And with every return, we are one level higher. How much further can you see from here this time? >> Right. So good. Now, for those of you following this entire journey out there, we're going to keep coming back to that list of a hundred things that you love, love, love, love, love. Right? And so, if you're hearing this for the first time or if you're hearing it again, I'm going to ask you to pull it out. If you forgot about it, if it got buried under the desk of pile of stuff, right? Write 100 things that you love so gigantically that they create goosebumps >> that they make you excited that that becomes a lens that you see the world through. It is proof how good life can be. So if you're out there right now and you're sitting in a dark place and you're really having a hard time, this message is really for you. >> If you're lost and you're destitute and you're in a dark place and that's all that you can see, little things matter. For me, >> a cup of coffee every single day, that's something that is one. I love it and it's doable and I can have as much as I want. >> And it's a dose of medicine every single time. >> Little things matter, >> right? 100 things. Yeah. And that and there's something inside of us that goes, "Yes, I want more of that." And right there, that yes, that yeah, that aha is powerful medicine. Yes, it exists. And yes, I get to with little things is powerful deep touching medicine. >> So, let's all have a little bit more of that. Mhm. I think that you made a very good point too is sometimes it's just like the smallest little things that can just be the spark that inspire us and especially if you're in a dark place and >> I can speak to that quite a bit in my own personal life but there was a point I I started reading um I think it was the Daly Lama's book on joy just trying to find joy couldn't find it I couldn't find it and just to theity of the conversations between the Daly Lama and I can't remember who else it It was just an interesting, it was simple. And then one day I'm like driving down the street um in Salt Lake many, many years ago right by Liberty Park. And I was just so depressed. >> There's like this painted line on the road that's like this big that just swerves out of the way like completely off. I don't know why that was the thing. >> Uhhuh. >> That was where I was like, "Huh?" that like glitched my brain out of the negative cycle where I was like, I wonder what that what happened when to that guy. Maybe he got bit by a bee. Maybe he laughed during a podcast. He was listening like I don't know. And then every time I would silly little line, I would just like get the giggles, you know, and I'm like it was like that one stupid little line on the road that just like glitched me out of the thing. So, you never know what's going to pull you out. >> But in the exact same way of spirals, we talk about like revolutions. Revolutions are circles. Evolutions are spirals. >> Big time. Big time. Big time. Big time. Well, once again, everybody, I'm so glad that we're doing this. And those of you on the journey here, if you resonating with this, please reach out to Julie or myself. We're here for you. Um, and uh there'll be some links to what we do here in the world. Um, exactly. I mean, man, we are here for each other. We're more powerful walking together. We walk each other home in this work. These are all things I say all the time. It's because it every time I come back to it, I just see how deeply touching it is to be in a conversation like this, especially the day you need it the most. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> So, we see you. We have been in the chair you're in and we have and some of us are beyond that place which created that desire to show up and serve because I know what it's like to sit in the dark and to hurt in fear and not know what to do next. I've been there and I'm sure I'll be there again >> as we go around the spiral one more time. So Julie, I want to thank you for being here with me. And I want to thank everybody joining us live on YouTube, Alt TV, and Tik Tok. Keep listening for the knock. Keep looking again. And when you find yourself in familiar to territory, remember it's the same place, but this time with more of you, >> more of you, >> right? Some of the links to find me. Once the one reminder is that every single Wednesday from 3 to 4 o'clock p.m. Mountain time is my superconscious tuneup which is a free Zoom call. Thank you. The link is right there. Uh come join us live in the call. You don't have to do anything except just be in the room. But this is where we talk about spirituality. We talk about personal growth. We talk about what's possible. And we're doing it in a room of very amazing people from all over the world. And when you join the Recode Tuneup, you also get up to I think it's almost 90 episodes of past recordings. So you can take me with an app in your pocket and podcast like crazy on a road trip or while you're making dinner. There's a ton of amazing content. There's workshops and all kinds of things there. And you get the live community where you get to show up and ask for what you need and offer what you can off of Facebook in a closed and safe container. And the links are right here with that. Thank you, Julie, for this wonderful time together and what we're doing here. And we've got what, nine more to go. >> Yeah, that's crazy. And also, there's a survivalation QR code. >> Exactly. Exactly. Which is gives you the access to this workshop and more more guided information and and specific information around why these 12 tools are lined up together. So, please join us and we'll see you in those circles. Anything else, Julie, before you wrap it up? >> I I don't think so. I feel better than when I started today. So, thank you for that. And I feel more inspired and wise. >> The timing of that was beautiful. And I hope that um the people who have heard it already were here and that who is going to hear it will be hearing it. And that this message shows up for you exactly when you need it. >> Right on. And reach out and reach out to us everyone, please. We don't want you sitting alone. If you're struggling, there's ways to contact with us. There's a free call. There's join the community. There's ways to say hello. Even just message us directly on YouTube or whatever it is. We're here. We're watching. We want >> So many points of contact. >> Yeah, for sure. Well, thank you for your time. We'll see you in two weeks. >> Okay. >> Thanks, everybody. >> Thank you for joining us this evening. We bridge the gap between what the world often keeps separate, logic and light and spirit and science. We welcome everyone to come as you are and invite you to become the hero you want to become through educational tools and community connection. We offer tools, teachings, and community to help you remember who you are. This includes live shows, workshops, nutrition and wellness, and exclusive member perks. Logic leads us, light guides us, community connects us. Check out our TV digest channel guide on all TV. Catch your favorite show, live stream, or find a new favorite show to add to your notifications. 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